Yesterday was pretty tough emotionally. I awoke that morning to what I thought was the passing of the fetal tissue (sorry, TMI for sure). I won't go into graphic details, but I was very much saddened by what I saw (or thought I saw). Once I decided on what to do with the tissue, I said a quick prayer asking for God to watch over my angel and to give me strength to get through the day.
Thinking that the worst was over, I felt relief knowing we could now move forward with a normal life. I still needed to get my HCG levels drawn, but I was confident that my levels would be dropping. How could they not be after this morning? My Dad and I drove to the clinic for the blood draw, we ran a few errands, and then we met my Mom and Grandparents for lunch. It was turning out to be a pretty good afternoon.
After lunch, I came home to wait for my Mom to come back to my house. She had to go pick up my niece and nephew from school and then she was going to swing by my house to pick up my grandparents. At about 4 PM, I got a call from my OB's office. I was anxious to hear how much my levels had dropped... The only problem was they didn't drop. No, they actually went up a couple of hundred points. What?! I thought this nightmare was over. It never occurred to me that my numbers would go up (well, I knew it was a possibility, but I just knew they were coming down). "Head to the emergency room", the nurse told me. "The doctor will be calling you shortly".
My head was spinning at this point. I felt sick to my stomach and lightheaded. I needed fresh air. I went outside to clear my head and to make sure my reaction was from anxiety and not due to a sudden rupture. The cold air hit my lungs and immediately I started to feel better. I called my husband and told him he needed to come pick me up right away so we could head back to the hospital. I made arrangements for my son and packed a bag for myself because I wasn't sure if I would be undergoing surgery in a few hours.
Once we arrived at the hospital (which took almost an hour and a half due to traffic - remind me not to let my tube rupture or future labor happen during rush hour), the check in protocol ensued. My OB's partner who was on-call that night finally made it down to see me about an hour after I got there. We went through the options (surgery or another methotrexate shot) and the advantages and disadvantages of both. Part of me wanted to just have the surgery and get it over with, but I knew it was best to try to avoid surgery. I didn't have any bad side effects from the initial shot and I wasn't in much pain, so we decided to give the shot one more chance to work. I prayed that I was making the right decision.
I still don't know if the second shot is the right answer, but it did allow me to go home that night and be here today for my son's first ever Christmas Program. I admit that this was one reason why I chose the shot over surgery. I didn't want my son to miss seeing me in the audience. And I'm so glad I was there. As soon as he saw me, he waved and gave me the biggest, cutest smile ever.
Here is a pic of him during the show:
So the waiting continues. I'm scheduled to go back in a week to have blood levels drawn again. I am still confident that the medicine will work. I just can't wait for the numbers to confirm my confidence.